


he didn't have time

by xavierurban



Series: bless the broken road [1]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Red Hood/Arsenal (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hopeful Ending, M/M, POV Roy Harper, Pre-Slash, Roy Harper is a good Dad, Songfic, jason is smol bc no lazarus, jason todd deserves nice things, no capes AU, roy harper deserves nice things, writer’s block has not been kind pls go easy on me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-10
Updated: 2019-04-10
Packaged: 2020-01-07 14:51:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18412874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xavierurban/pseuds/xavierurban
Summary: single father roy harper doesn’t have time for dating, not with a little girl to care for; a chance meeting over a slashed tire might just convince him that it’s time to put himself back out therebased on the song she didn’t have time by terri clark





	1. prologue

**Author's Note:**

> because i’m a tragedy without some kind of structure, i ended up building a timeline for the characters in this verse (it was never supposed to be a verse, alas) because i worry it could get messy, and as an arbitrary starting place, i’ve decided that this piece is set in july 2019, with the prologue being about four and a half years earlier. for the main part, roy is 28, jason is just shy of 26, and lian is 5. talia and bruce were married for almost nine years and _both_ adopted jason, and talia now oversees the european branch of the al ghul’s company. jason’s been living in england with/near her since he was 18. okay, i think that’s all that needs to be said for context that won’t simply be covered in the fic itself.
> 
> i’m really new to the batfam fandom, and, honestly, only ever dabbled loosely in dc things before that, even, and this is my first dc fic, so pls be kind. i’m still doing a lot of my own reading and research into canon, so i’m sure a lot of the places i’ve drawn inspiration from thus far have been heavily influenced by fandom, so i apoligize if that bothers anyone.
> 
> self-beta'd, so all mistakes are my own!

_he could've cried, but he didn't have time;_  
_he had a baby to feed,_  
_a pink blanket to find_ _  
to rock their little one to sleep.  
  
_ Jade’s car has barely turned the corner of their street before Lian starts screaming in the nursery, and Roy gives himself only a few moments to stare after it before sucking in a deep breath, letting it out, and stepping back inside the house. The door closes with a firm _click_ as he makes his way down the hall, his heart still somewhere in the vicinity of his throat as he opens the nursery door and moves to lift his baby girl into his arms.  
  
“Shh, Lian,” he murmurs, his voice sounding hoarse to his own ears, “Daddy’s here.”  
  
He swallows hard, and looks around the room as he holds Lian close to his chest, her wet cheek resting against his clavicle as one of his hands rubs circles against her back while the other supports her small body. With a sigh of defeat, Roy heads out into the living room where just minutes before he’d come home to find Jade sitting, bags packed and keys in hand.  
  
 _It’s not you,_ she’d said, _This is what’s best for all of us._ Roy doesn’t believe either of those things.  
  
His gaze lands on a swatch of pink on the sofa, and he breathes a sigh of relief, moving to snatch the baby blanket up and gently nudging it into his daughter’s grip. Her wails trail off into soft whimpers soon after that, and Roy trudges on into the kitchen, moving as if on auto-pilot as he takes out and prepares a bottle of formula, testing it on his wrist before heading back into the nursery where he settles into the old fashion rocking chair Ollie and Dinah had gifted them when Lian was born.  
  
Settling her into a more comfortable position for feeding feels like second nature already, and Roy forces himself not to think about how it’s just the two of them now, just for tonight. He’ll confront everything that that entails in the morning, or at least once Lian is asleep again.  
  
“There we go, sweetheart,” he says, and hopes it’s not true that babies are super-tuned into other people’s emotions because his smile is so strained it nearly hurts, “That’s better, isn’t it?”  
  
He hopes he’s imagining the piercing look she gives him as she suckles at her dinner.


	2. Chapter 2

_he could've tried,_  
_but he didn't have time._  
_he had a 5-year-old to feed;_  
_he had ballet class, piano lessons,_  
and t-ball little league.  
  
Sometimes, when he stops to think about it - and that’s not _often_ , because time to think is a luxury he can’t really afford - Roy can’t believe it’s been close to five years since Jade walked out on him and their daughter. Their daughter, who is starting school at the end of the summer, and hell if that doesn’t make Roy feel old and well past his own prime.  
  
He supposes that’s not entirely true. He’s not quite thirty yet, but he feels so far beyond his years most of the time. Lian keeps him busy, between working to keep food on the table and a roof over their heads - sure, Ollie _helps_ , but that trust fund is _Lian’s_ , and Roy isn’t going to drain it before she’s even old enough to have a say - and all of the activities he’s gotten her into because it’s just as expensive but more rewarding for both of them than daycare. Thoughts of Roy’s own future just don’t ping his radar the same way.  
  
And five years is a long time to be alone, Roy knows that, but he’s got to think about his daughter. Dick, Donna, Wally - they’ve all tried, offered to watch Lian so he can get out to try and meet someone, and he appreciates it, he _does_ , but he can’t risk giving a piece of his heart up again, not when it means bringing someone into Lian’s life and not knowing if they’ll be sticking around. He’d tried to explain that to Dick, once, thinking he of all people might understand. But, then, Dick had never cared much for his former stepmother, anyway, hadn’t been all that bothered when Talia and Bruce eventually called it quits.  
  
But Lian isn’t Dick, and Roy isn’t Bruce, and he can’t just bring someone else into their lives on a whim. (If he’s being honest with himself, Lian isn’t the only one he’s worried wouldn’t survive someone else leaving).  
  
So they get by with family and friends, and Lian is too loved and too spoiled to ever really be lonely, and Roy thinks that’s worth the hollow ache in his own chest when he watches Linda and Wally tie the knot, and then Dick and Babs. When he receives the Save The Date card for Cass and Steph. And when Lian comes running into his arms after learning a new song in her piano lessons, or after the curtain falls on her ballet recital, when she smiles up at him like he’s hung the moon and the stars just for her, well-  
  
-no one is ever going to love him more than she does, anyway.  
  
That’s enough for him. It has to be.  
  
_not time where would he'd find the time to trust someone again._  
_not time for that flat tire, a crowded parking lot, and then--_  
not time but, yes, have coffee with the man that got his tire fixed…  
  
He’s so fucking lucky that Lian is at Ollie and Dinah’s for the weekend, but that’s about as far as his luck extends. The proof is staring back at him in the form of a slashed tire on the back end of his car - he hadn’t even been inside the bank for that long, and it’s broad daylight, how the hell did that happen?  
  
“Fuck,” Roy mutters, and puts both hands on the trunk of his car as he looks down and takes a steadying breath. Sure, he doesn’t need to pick Lian up from any classes, but he’s still got shit to do. So much shit to do. They need groceries, and he’s still got to get gas, and pick up Lian’s new ballet slippers, and drop off the registration form for the little league team she wanted to join. Not to mention the laundry that’s been piling up, and the vacuuming, and the meal prep for the next week…  
  
“Fuck,” he repeats, and then straightens up and fumbles for his phone, “Goddamnit.”  
  
He pulls up Google, debates between calling for a tow or just seeing if he can get someone out to change the damn thing because of _course_ he doesn’t have a fucking jack in his car, and he’s already started mentally shifting around his expenses to see how he can fit this new problem in when he hears someone give a pointed cough from somewhere behind him. He turns, eyebrows pulled down, and snaps out a _what?_ that has him instantly feeling guilty.  
  
“Sorry,” he mutters, gaze finally settling on the stranger, and he feels even worse with the placating way the guy is holding up his hands. Roy wants to say he’s a teenager, at first - the guy can’t be more than 5’4”, if that - but his face is just a little too old for that. Not older than Roy himself, probably, but he’s definitely more adult than child. More importantly, he looks _familiar_ , but Roy can’t seem to place him.  
  
“No, uh-,” the guy shrugs, drops his hands, “Figure you’re entitled to being pissed off right now.” He looks a bit nervous, Roy notes, and he really hopes he isn’t about to confess to being the one who did this.  
  
That’s not what happens, of course.  
  
“Just…,” he frowns for a second and then asks, “Do you have a spare? Just- ‘Cuz I’ve got a jack in my truck, you know? If you… If you needed a hand.”  
  
Roy blinks, surprised by the show of kindness from a stranger in a city where strangers tends to prefer to stay that way. It worries him, too, but he figures that’s just the dad in him reacting to his misinterpretation of the man’s age. Offering to help some random guy out with his car is a nice way to end up dead in an alley somewhere, at least in Gotham. He shakes that thought off as best he can, and offers a tentative smile.  
  
“I do have a spare. If you’re sure I wouldn’t be putting you out,” he tells the other man, and he nods towards the trunk of his car, “Then I’d appreciate the help.” The smile he gets in response is almost blinding, and Roy feels an unfamiliar twinge in his heart at the sight of it. To cover it, he extends his hand, “Roy. I mean, I’m Roy.”  
  
“Jay,” the other man says, and his handshake is firm, reminds him a bit of Ollie’s, actually, and his smile doesn’t fade by much when he lets go. “Great, so, I’m just parked over there,” he says, gesturing across the lot, “I’ll be right back!”  
  
While Jay walks off, Roy pops the trunk and pulls out the spare tire that’s tucked under the false bottom. He’s still digging around for the right wrench when Jay returns with a toolbox in one hand and a hydraulic jack in the other.  
  
“Your emergency break on?” He asks, and Roy nearly hits his head on the hood of the trunk when Jay’s voice surprises him. He straightens up properly, and then goes around to the car door to reach in and engage the break.  
  
“It is now,” Roy says, and Jay chuckles a little as he sets his things down and then crouches in front of the damaged tire, a considering look on his face.  
  
Roy watches him for a long moment, not sure what to say, or how much help to offer - if he’s being honest, he’s never been a car person. Sure, he works plenty with his hands, but he prefers to work with smaller contraptions and electronics. Maybe if it was the engine that had gone out, he’d have had a shot.  
  
“So, you a mechanic or something?” He asks eventually, and Jay looks up at him in surprise and… confusion? That’s certainly how the little crease in his brow reads before he blinks and it’s smoothed away by a wicked smile.  
  
“Nah,” he says as he pops the hubcap off and then reaches for the wrench to loosen each of the lugs, and there’s a secretive little smile on his face as he adds, “My old man just believes in being prepared for all eventualities, hence the kit. I’ve known how to take a tire off since I was a kid, though. Hey, hand me the jack?”  
  
Roy hums, because it really sounds like there’s a story there, but he’s not going to press. He hands the jack over without question, and teases, “Well, as long as you know what you’re doing.”  
  
“I do,” Jay replies softly, so softly Roy almost misses it as he watches him jack the car up and then finish taking out the lugs. He watches him work in comfortable silence after that, taking the old tire off of Jay’s hands and giving him the spare when he’s ready for it. He waits until the car has been lowered back down and Jay has stepped away from it before hefting the ruined tire into his trunk and shutting it.  
  
“Thanks for your help,” he tells the other man, a sheepish smile on his face, “Probably would’ve had to get a tow otherwise, which…” He trails off, not wanting to admit how much an unexpected expense like that would put him out. Jay doesn’t need to hear the whole sob story of his life. “Anyway, I really appreciate it,” he finishes.  
  
Jay just grins, and cleans his hands off on a cloth from his toolbox before repacking it and snapping it closed. “It’s not a problem,” he reassures him, “I’m glad I could help.” He stands up, hands once again full with his tools, and Roy is struck with how much he doesn’t want Jay to walk away just yet. It should feel a lot more startling than it does.  
  
“Can I, uh-” he stammers before taking a deep breath and letting it out, ignoring the way Jay stares at him, eyebrow raising in uncertainty. “Can I buy you a coffee?” Roy finally asks, gesturing over his shoulder at the café across the parking lot, “You know, just. To say thank you.”  
  
The man across from him seems to hesitate for a moment, and Roy isn’t that surprised by the disappointment that coils in his gut before Jay finally nods, a look of steel in his eyes for a fleeting moment before he softens.  
  
“I’d like that,” Jay replies, turning that same blinding smile he’d given Roy earlier back onto him again, as if to mask the uncertainty in his voice when he adds, “Let me just… put my gear back in my truck, yeah? I’ll meet you inside?”  
  
Roy nods, relieved despite himself, and offers Jay a smile of his own.  
  
“See you inside, then,” he says, and Jay grins before he moves to make his way back to his own vehicle. Roy watches him for a moment longer before shaking his head, and making his way to the café.  
  
_and they sat and talked for hours,_  
_giving destiny it's power;_  
_he could've been afraid to fall in love that night,_  
but he didn't have time.  
  
Roy is just starting to think that Jay had left, after all, when the man in question steps into the café and walks over to the table Roy had staked out for them.  
  
“Sorry,” he apologizes as he collapses into the other chair, then explains with a chuckle, “I had to make a call, lest my dad send out the cavalry.” When Roy merely tilts his head and narrows his eyes a little, Jay gets that confused look again, and then shrugs, “He’s a bit protective, and I’ve been away. He’s got years of smothering to catch up on.”  
  
And Roy, well. He can get that. Hell, he can’t imagine a time when he won’t want to smother Lian, even though he knows the day will come when he won’t be able to.  
  
“S’ok,” he finally says, his tone all falsely-wise as he adds, “Dads don’t stop being dads just cuz their kids grow up.” Jay snorts, and Roy feels a pleased warmth in his gut before he nods towards the counter, “So, what should I order you?”  
  
Jay looks over at the boards behind the counter for a moment and then says, “Earl grey, please. Two honey.”  
  
Roy stands with a small nod, “Alright, back in a second, then.”  
  
Standing in line, Roy finds himself wondering about that sense of familiarity he’d felt when he first saw Jay out in the parking lot. Did it have something to do with why he felt oddly comfortable around the other man? And _why_ did he seem so familiar? Roy was practically certain they’d never met, but there was just something about him, like he’d seen him before, maybe more than once, even if they’d never met. Which made no sense, really.  
  
Shaking that thought off, Roy steps up to the counter and orders a coffee for himself and Jay’s tea, before paying and waiting for their order. When he returns to the table, a cup steaming in each hand, Jay smiles up at him.  
  
“Thanks,” he says as he takes his tea, his smile softening as he takes a deep inhale of the tea’s vapour.  
  
“No, thank you,” Roy points out, and the tips of Jay’s ears go pink.  
  
“Told you,” Jay murmurs, “Wasn’t a big deal.”  
  
“It is to me,” Roy says, and, well, Jay can’t really argue with that and he seems to know it.  
  
Reluctantly, he mumbles a quick _you’re welcome_ and then hunches back down over his tea. Roy watches him quietly, not sure what to say, and, God, why did he think this was a good idea? He’s not blind - Jay is, well, _very_ attractive, with eyes that don’t seem to know if they want to be blue or green, and dark hair that he suspects has been intentionally straightened. There’s a streak of faded red in his bangs, and Roy can’t help but wonder if it’s always red, or if Jay likes to mix it up every time it fades. It’s not something he should really be thinking about. He clears his throat, and opens his mouth to speak, but Jay beats him to it.  
  
“Do you have kids?” He asks, and that blush has spread from the tips of his ears onto his cheeks, and he looks vaguely horrified with himself, but before he can apologize, Roy smiles softly. This, he can do.  
  
“One,” he answers, “She’s five.”  
  
Jay looks wistful for a moment, and then looks down as he takes the tea bag out of his drink and sets it aside on a napkin.  
  
“I saw the carseat,” he admits sheepishly, and shoots Roy a shy glance, “I love kids. Does… Does she have your eyes?”  
  
And Roy is speechless for a long moment, a burst of nerves making themselves known in his stomach, but he finally manages to swallow around the sudden lump in his throat.  
  
“Actually,” Roy says, “Yeah, she does.”  
  
Things are easier, after that, and Roy isn’t sure why, but he suspects it has to do with knowing that Jay didn’t turn tail and run as soon as he found out about Lian. Or maybe it’s the way Jay gets bolder in his flirtations after that, or just how natural it feels to sit there and talk like they’ve known each other all their lives.  
  
He learns that Jay grew up in Gotham, but left to go to university in England - fucking _England_ \- and has only been back stateside for about a month. He learns that he comes from a big family, but living away from home for so long means he’s not as close to them as he’d like to be, but he’s working on that now that he’s back. And Roy tells him about growing up in Star City - leaves out Ollie’s name, even if Jay doesn’t strike him as the type to care that much - and about moving to Gotham with Lian’s mother, and how he decided to stay even after she left when Lian was just a baby, and how his little girl is taking to ballet like a fish to water and he hopes she’ll love it enough to stick with it as she gets older.  
  
When they finally part ways, several hours later than either of them intended, Roy has Jay’s number in his phone and the reassurance that he can call anytime, and, yes, Jay would very much like to see him again, sometime when he’s free, but he understands that his daughter likely keeps him pretty busy, so no pressure and no rush! Roy, in return, has promised to be in touch, and it’s a promise he intends to keep.  
  
Roy has so much to do tomorrow, given how little he got done today, but even knowing that, Roy hasn’t felt so at peace while separated from Lian in a long time.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading, i hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> i have the direct sequel nearly finished, so it should be up in a day or two! i have thoughts for various other pieces from this 'verse, too, so keep an eye out! there are definitely some backstory pieces i want to write and obviously some fics about jay and roy's relationship as it develops!


End file.
